You are the driver, not the passenger: take control of your development!
A mentor is like an experienced pilot who knows the route, but you’re the one behind the wheel. Your active stance and sense of responsibility are the fuel that powers the entire mentoring journey.
How to take control of your development?
Prepare for every meeting
Don’t come empty-handed. Before each session, spend 15 minutes thinking about: What challenge am I facing? What do I want to ask? What progress have I made since last time? Preparation shows respect for your time and your mentor’s.
Own the agenda
It’s your meeting. Start by saying: “Thank you for your time. Today I’d like to discuss…” You set the tone and direction of the conversation. The mentor is at your disposal, not the other way around.
Ask for what you need
Your mentor can’t read minds. Need specific feedback? Say: “Could you give me feedback on my presentation?” Want to meet someone from another department? Ask: “Do you know anyone who could tell me about…?”
Implement and report
The greatest development happens BETWEEN meetings. If you agree on something, do it. At the next session, start with a summary: “After our last conversation, I did X. The result was Y. It taught me Z.” This shows your commitment.
Proactive mentee checklist
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Before the meeting, I send my mentor 2-3 discussion points.
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During the meeting, I take notes and record key actions.
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After the meeting, I send a brief thank you with a summary of agreements.
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I treat feedback as a gift, even when it’s hard to accept.
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I celebrate my small successes and share them with my mentor.
Read Also
- Active Mentee Attitude
- RESPONSIBILITY FOR DEVELOPMENT: How Mentors and Mentees Can Build Success Together
- Mentoring: A Guide to the Mentee Role
Read also
Develop your skills
Want to deepen your knowledge in this area? Check out our training led by experienced EITT instructors.
➡️ Active Leadership for IT Professionals — EITT training
Frequently Asked Questions
How often should a mentee initiate contact with their mentor?
Aim for regular, scheduled sessions — typically every two to four weeks — but do not hesitate to reach out between meetings when a timely question or opportunity arises. Consistency signals commitment and keeps the mentoring relationship productive.
What should I do if I disagree with my mentor’s advice?
Treat disagreement as a learning moment, not a conflict. Explain your reasoning respectfully and ask your mentor to walk you through theirs — this exchange often surfaces insights neither of you would reach alone.
How can I make the most of a mentoring relationship if my mentor works in a different department or company?
Cross-functional or external mentors offer a broader perspective that is often more valuable than domain-specific guidance. Prepare context-rich agendas so your mentor can quickly understand your situation and provide targeted input.
When is the right time to end a mentoring relationship?
A mentoring engagement naturally concludes when you have achieved the goals you set at the start or when your development needs shift significantly. Have an honest conversation with your mentor to evaluate progress and, if appropriate, transition to a new mentor or a peer-coaching arrangement.