Feedback is a Gift: How to Receive It and Ask for It?
Constructive feedback is the fastest path to development. Your openness to receiving feedback and proactively asking for it are key elements that will determine the success of your journey.
How to Receive Feedback?
- Listen to Understand
Focus on understanding the intention and content, not on formulating a defense. Do not interrupt. Let your mentor finish their thought.
- Breathe and Do Not Take It Personally
Feedback concerns your behavior, not your worth as a person. Take a deep breath. It is natural to feel emotions, but do not let them take control.
- Ask for Specifics
If you do not understand something, ask for examples. “Can you give a specific situation where I behaved that way?” This will help you better understand the context.
- Say Thank You
Even if the feedback is difficult, thank for it. Your mentor has dedicated time and courage to help you. “Thank you for telling me this. It is valuable to me.”
How to Ask for Feedback?
- Be Specific
Instead of “What do you think of me?”, ask: “How do you rate the way I led yesterday’s meeting? What could I have done better?”
- Choose the Right Moment
Do not ask for feedback in a hurry in the hallway. Ask: “Would you find 5 minutes this week to give me feedback on X?”
- Ask for Feedback Regularly
Make it a habit. End a meeting with the question: “Is there anything I should start doing, stop doing, or do differently?”
- Show That You Implement the Conclusions
Nothing encourages giving feedback like seeing it being used. At the next meeting, say: “I applied your advice and…”
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Develop your skills
Want to deepen your knowledge in this area? Check out our training led by experienced EITT instructors.
➡️ Receiving tasks and feedback — EITT training
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if feedback feels unfair or inaccurate?
Take a moment to process your emotions before responding, then ask clarifying questions to understand the specific observations behind the feedback. Even if you ultimately disagree, there is often a kernel of useful insight, and responding with curiosity rather than defensiveness keeps the conversation productive.
How often should I ask for feedback from my manager or colleagues?
Aim to request feedback regularly, ideally after significant events such as presentations, project milestones, or important meetings. Building a habit of brief weekly or biweekly check-ins normalizes the feedback exchange and makes both giving and receiving it more comfortable over time.
How can I encourage my team to give me honest feedback?
Start by explicitly asking for specific feedback, showing genuine appreciation when you receive it, and visibly acting on the suggestions you find valuable. When people see that their feedback leads to real changes and is met without defensiveness, they become more willing to share honest observations.
What is the difference between constructive feedback and criticism?
Constructive feedback focuses on specific behaviors and offers actionable suggestions for improvement, with the intent of helping the person grow. Criticism tends to be vague, personal, and focused on what went wrong without providing a clear path forward, which makes it far less useful for professional development.